I love facilitating the 7 day silent conscious dance retreat. It fills me with such deep feelings of love, grace, and wonder. During it you will find me both laughing and crying at the magnificent beauty I get to witness unfolding. How the space and the land around comes to the party. How the authentic movements of the participants wakes them up into the fullness of their Being. I’m often overwhelmed by it. It is such grace to witness. Humbled by the courage and willingness of the dancers to face themselves so openly and honestly. I mean they really take a good look. It’s not always pretty, or fun. It’s a real initiation. They dance with their light and shadow. Discover who they are. Find answers, and more questions. Shed layers. Let go of things carried too long. Process grief, and trauma. Get inspired and creative. Interact with their myth and stories. All of it. The human drama unfolding in the container of this retreat. I often joke that doing this retreat turns your normal life into the holiday, not the other way around. The Bali retreat was the 13th one I’ve facilitated. It was my first one outside of South Africa and as such it was a little extra amazing.
In the days leading up to the retreat, I become immersed in the incredible music, feeling into the space, figuring out what of the 8000 plus songs in my library are being asked to come forth. On average about 320 songs get played. I estimate we are joined in spirit by over 5000 humans involved in the production of the music. Music power is a huge part of the magic. It is our muse. I give thanks to all of the musicians for facilitating the space, getting the dancers to move and feel. Emotions, energy, thoughts and visions open as we interact and listen to the harmony, melody, rhythm and vibration.
From my side, I create and maintain the container. I draw on my long years of experience, huffing and puffing, seeking and exploring. Living in ashrams, sitting on meditation cushions for way too long, silent retreats, exploring and imbibing spiritual teachings, and lots of practice both as an eternal student and as a facilitator. I draw major inspiration from the tradition of yoga I studied and my teacher in India, who has inspired so much of Dance Awake and my approach to conscious dance as a path. It gives it a certain authenticity that I maintain as essential. Luckily I don’t feel I need to compromise or please people. This offering comes out of passion, service and love. You can come and get it or leave it.
At the beginning I offer a silent prayer that everyone respects the container. That they see the gift each element brings: Silence, no technology or distraction, the fast, dance guidelines, following a hardcore schedule of practice. It’s always harder to hold when there are tricksters in the space. Those that mistakingly see the container as a limit on their freedom instead of the vehicle that gives them an opportunity to experience freedom. Freedom from what? Themselves of course. Grace blessed me because on the Bali retreat I had none. Just earnest seekers and lovers of dance, music, and silent communion. Well except my own mind silently cursing the fact that we were fasting on day 5 and missing out on three delicious meals. The food was so good!
Bali brought together an incredible bunch of amazing humans excited to explore themselves through the process the retreat offered. The music, the dance, the silence, the yoga, the mindfulness, and all the elements wove together to create fertile ground for profound insight, understanding, and integration. The opportunity to let go of our “normal” way of being in the world, and worldly responsibilities. Everything taken care of. A bed to sleep in, meals to fill the belly, basic needs met, allowing one to participate wholeheartedly, distraction free. For seven days you become a dancing renunciate. The participants dove in deep!
The first days are usually the toughest. A bit like pushing through syrup. People are getting used to the routine, slowly leaving the past behind, letting go of agenda and opening to incredible magic of the present moment. At some point we reach a place where the momentum overcomes the inertia. The retreat starts to fly and the cooking starts! People drop in. Laughter, excitement, joy, grief, and tears of all kind begin to bubble up. Into the fingers, and toes. Into the shapes and expressions. The tones and textures of bodies moving. In the breathing, sitting still, eating, and lying down in deep relaxation. In the pushing of edges of comfort and endurance, often being surprised by how much further they are then what we often perceive. Being gentle and kind towards oneself. Awakening to the life inside and out. The conversations that there are no words for begin to occur. The veil between the worlds we inhabit becomes thin.
The first agreement is total participation. Wholeheartedness! You dive in and apprentice yourself fully to the program. It’s actually effortless. It’s all happening anyways. We slowly let go of resistance and judgement. Open with curiosity and playfulness to our Being. Loving awareness. Whatever comes up is what we dance with. We have no agenda. We are not trying to fix ourselves, hurry undesirable states along, or chase bliss. We are more interested in seeing and therefore understanding what is actually happening within us. Over the 7 days we move to ever more subtle experience. We start with the physical world on day one. Through the body we begin to open to the mental, energetic, psychic and subtle dimensions of our being over the first four days. We push over our threshold of known and open a conversation with the unknown more mysterious aspect of Self.
As we are in silence, nothing is named, or crystallised into form. Nothing of the magic is lost by sharing it too soon with others. It stays soft and dreamy, and gets to cook through. Nothing is left half baked. In not seeking validation from others, we learn to trust our own experience and perception. We make sense of our own paradigms, metaphors, visions, and dreams. We deal with our own stuff. It is self empowering. Our life’s dances are allowed to move. Some come into completion, others change, and some just begin. The result - inner wisdom, earned and trusted without needing anything outside to be in agreement. It’s liberation.
With day 5 comes the Dance of the Seven Spaces. A ceremony of fasting, art, devotion and 12 hours dancing through seven waves of music, each wave helping us explore a different space within us. So we discover our personal experience with each of these spaces. So much better than being told what the space means. Experience relevant to us and therefore of value to us. No dogma or intellectual musings.
Each day starts with a yoga class, exploring the same awareness we are dancing with that day. The yoga deepens and expands our awareness and as a result fully compliments and enhances the conscious dance practice. The deep relaxation practice, Yoga Nidra, at mid day includes visualisations that also enhance the exploration. We end with a meditation, an opportunity for the same dance within a still body. Everything on the retreat nurtures an environment conducive to awakening to a more full version of self.
The space where the retreat is held brings it’s own magic and opportunity. It’s consciously invited in and engaged with. Bali was no exception. She played with us in the constant sound of the ocean waves. The large presence of Mt Agung, the largest active volcano on Bali. Mother Nature and her trees, plants, frogs, dogs, birds, fish, insects, ghekos and creatures that inhabited the land. The moody always changing weather. The residing deities of the Shala we danced in. The full moon on the day of the long dance ceremony. The food! The friendliest staff in the world. The people of bali and the culture so full of devotion that the air as thick as honey with a field pulsing to the beat of the divine creation. The outer reflecting to us the inner. It is not possible to be alone on the retreat. Everything is waiting for you to enter the conversation with all your life! Your primary relationship in fact.
We are not here to please anyone, or be praised for our effort. We don't compromise or make small the parts of ourselves considered possibly inappropriate to express with others. No. Here we get to explore ourself. It gets beautifully messy sometimes! All of it is welcome. The retreat is a space to dance with your highest expressions and your darkest shadows. All held in the light of your kind attention, your loving awareness. We make friends with all the lost parts of our being and welcome them back into their right place. The last full day on the retreat is the day of integration, invocation, and a celebration.
My hope always, is that dancers leave feeling it possible to be in the world more fully themselves. Comfortable with who they are. Having direct experience of what that actually means. Understanding that qualities like love, peace, joy, and connection are our natural expression. So that it is felt and seen in their worlds. Expressed in their actions in the world. This way the world is made better. I feel grateful to each and every human that has participated on these retreats.
For those curious about the music check out this mix from the morning of day four. The theme was "Movements of Love."
Grace and Gratitude!
Brian.
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